Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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