Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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