make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
