I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
