I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
