would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
