my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
