I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
