Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
