I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
