Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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