Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
