dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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