another moral hangover. fuck.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize