It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
