i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
