You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
