that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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