Already got asked if we're dating
The maid of honor just puked.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm getting married
To pizza
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
