i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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