I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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