i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
