Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
