The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
