Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize