Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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