Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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