Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize