You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
