Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
