I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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