i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
