I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
