Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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