True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
