She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
