the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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