well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
