I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
