he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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