Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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