dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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