Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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