He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
