i think i have herpe
just one?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
