i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
