My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize