i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize