AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
