you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
