She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
