im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
