ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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