Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
