My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize