Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
