Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
