A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
