She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
