I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
