Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
